Thursday, June 20, 2013

感慨与不安

心理有无数的感慨与不安。

不安的是,我开始要面对一往曾经想要逃开的一切。上课,读书,学习,这些只会让我拥有更多更多的所缘,脑海里会越来越乱,离开解脱的烦恼越来越远。

我根本没有想要上进的心,这才是真正最可怕的一点。
不是没有能力把一切搞好,只是真的没有想要上进的心,因为那真的不是我想要的,不是我会享受的,更不是我会喜欢的。

很难过,因为真的没有倾诉对象,倾诉了真的也没用。

唉。。真的不知该怎么办了。

不想伤害任何人,更不想制造任何麻烦,可是再这样下去会不会制造更多麻烦?

佛陀... 我知道您已经进入涅磐了,也留下了最好的佛法给我,我更知道我应该要走最对的路,可是我现在真的不知如何是好,因为我放不下。

怎么办。:(

Saturday, January 5, 2013

Heavy Rainy Day

In myanmar, when i used to be a monk, we used to hold our arm bowl, to beg for rice along the village. Even though when it was raining, we used to practice in this way. During that time, I wont feel scare of heavy rain like now, as that time i kept only my attention to my meditation target when walking and begging for rice. Human nowaday they always live under fear, too happy, and unhappy sometimes. The up and dowm pf their emotion are always obvious. Unlike my life when I was in Myanmar, about most of the time, I feel very balance, peaceful and quiet as my mind only focus on subject using meditation method taught by my teacher Venerable Punnananda. I feel a lot appreciate to him because he had taught me the best method that can help us to hinder from suffering, temporary and permanently, which is originated or invented by our BUDDHA. I hope and I wish i could finish up the meditation lesson and attain nibbana one day.